This feeling right here. This feeling is the thing I chase. I am sat in a coffee shop putting together an event proposal for a client and I think about how happy it makes me feel to be this excited to get up and work for myself. To be in the position to follow my dreams.
I have just come out of a bad season. The season was brought on from unemployment and a difficult financial situation. Sometimes you don’t realise how much only just getting by and scraping to pay bills and relying on other people can really weigh you down. I chose to leave a career that I was comfortable in and one that paid me so well I could have happily done whatever, whenever I wanted. But just being financially secure has never appealed to me. So I left. I started an unpaid internship which filled my need to strive for more. It filled the bucket that I am constantly wanting to top up. But, of course not being paid has its down sides. I live in London and needed to survive and pay rent. . . needless to say it has been a tough four months. Near the end of the four months I was at a real low. No motivation to do anything, lost, scared I’d have to go backwards and that what I was trying to achieve was actually unattainable. Then I finished my internship and gave myself some grace. I went home for two weeks. Back to my family. I got fresh air and quit worrying. I slept, I ate, I relaxed. Then I came back (begrudgingly) and remembered why I started. I prioritised what I needed to do and took another step forwards.
And now I am sat here so forking happy and content. In a way I have no blady idea what I am doing. But that’s also that fun part. The bit I am most grateful for. I get to learn as I go. I think the most important thing for me right now is knowing I am doing what I want to do for me. When making big changes you will be swayed and advised and told so many different things. People will want to tell you what they think is the best way to make the decisions and which path to choose. But you will only really be happy when you follow the path you know is the right one for you. And really you don’t need to know what you are doing. Just start. Make a list, and start.
You don’t have to be great to start. But you have to start to be great. -Zig Ziglar