Get back on that horse and try again.

So many times throughout my life I always seem to come to a crossroads where I need to decide what path to take next. I’m not one for staying in the same place for long. This way of thinking has brought me so many wonderful opportunities and experiences, however, it has also brought me a lot of emotional stress, and that causes other things in my life to fall down. So this time, when the guy I was dating broke it off and I went on holiday and realised that I’m ready for my next career challenge, I felt like I came back to the same crossroads and the stress bubbled to the surface and I stopped. I stopped writing,  stopped looking after myself, stopped doing my job properly. . . stopped showing up for myself. My inner child had dug her heels in and was going to sit there for the long haul. Because really, whats the point? Who cares if you don’t look after yourself? Who cares if you do your studying? Who cares if you stay or don’t stay in your job? Who cares if you break promises to yourself?

Every time I fall off I just think how tired I am and how hard this is. Constantly fighting for something with absolutely no evidence what so ever that it can even be done. I looked one way and saw the easy, comfortable, safe, path. The one I’m on. Then I looked the other way and saw a path I know if I walked down now I would be setting myself up to fail. Then I saw the path of growth and opportunity. This is the path I have chosen. . . again. Because I will keep choosing me. I will keep getting back on that same horse and fighting for my dream. I am absolutely sh***ing myself about this decision. I feel totally unprepared and inadequate. But if I sit in this fear and let it take over I will never have the life I have dreamed for myself and I will never grow and be the best version of me.

We won’t hit the mark everyday. But making sure you aim for the same mark everyday is the point. One day you’ll hit it, then the next and the next and before you know it you won’t even need to try so hard. We live in an impatient, instant gratification society. We want it but aren’t willing to sacrifice what needs to be sacrificed to get there. To really have everything you’ve dreamed of for yourself, you’ll need to work your forking ass off.

So how do you make sure you hit the mark everyday? Write down your goals, make a vision board, go to therapy, journal, do things even when you don’t feel like it. Do aaaall the things you have to do to make sure you stay focused. No excuses. It’s not a joke. And it also isn’t for everyone. They say roughly only 1% of people are actually willing to do what it takes. 1%. Ask yourself honestly. Are you in that 1%? If the answer is no, are you willing to do what it takes? Because really taking on the full force of your dreams is one of  the hardest things you’ll ever do. It’ll test you in every single way possible and make you question everything you think you know. But through it all, you’ll have that feeling deep inside. The knowledge that regardless of what you are going through, it is all worth it.

Keep getting up. Keep showing up. Never give up.


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