I honestly had no idea that I would get to this point. The point where I actually have to make a sacrifice in order to move forward.
I was on the phone to my mum the other day, crying. I was explaining about the hard decisions have to make about my career and how stressed I am. One of the things she said was ‘maybe somethings got to give’. At the time I thought I couldn’t. Nannying is what I need, my event course I am still paying for and that is the direction I want my career to go in, and this project is my side hustle that I really enjoy. I told her, and myself, that I would manage and I’d make it work. But now I’ve had to face the facts. I am not superwoman. . . (yet!) and doing a sixty hour week and studying and trying to expand this project and have a life is actually breaking me. I’ve just done a tone of research for my next career step into eventing and I have sooo much to squeeze into the ten/eleven months. I am exhausted physically and mentally and that is all taking a toll on my health.
So. A decision has to be made. The quote from Rachel Hollis comes to mind, You have to decide between what you want now and what you want most. I’ve been really impatient with this project and tried to hit the ground running with no time or experience to do it. But you have to walk before you can run. I will still have an Instagram account and the occasional blog, but for the foreseeable future I won’t be writing a blog post every week and Project 12 is currently on hold. This hurts a little to write. But my vision for me and my future really is paramount and I need to make sure I’m looking after me first. This honestly sucks so much. I know it isn’t over, just on hold, and I know that this is all for something much bigger.
If you’re in a hard season now. Maybe really have a think and see if maybe there is something you can give up or ease up on to allow you extra time for things you really do need to do right now. You’ve sometimes got to go backwards to go forwards. A temporary sacrifice for the possibility for you to have it all. . . .
We got this.