Project 2

I DID IT!

On Saturday I completed Project 2 from my Project 12. On Friday and Saturday I tried to talk myself out of going. I convinced myself nobody would care. That it wasn’t a big deal. That it wouldn’t matter. But. . . .that’s why I started this in the first place. I want to grow and change and put myself in situations that are uncomfortable. And just like my mamma says, ‘your head won’t blow off’. So I went.

I was nervous and probably looked a bit like a deer in headlights. I’m not great in social situations when I go into them by myself. I feel awkward and shy. My mechanism for these situation is to talk and be honest and make jokes. So when I got there I laughed and said, this is my first dance class, ever! The girl behind the desk wasn’t amused. Obviously she knew I wasn’t serious about becoming a dancer. Anyhow, I went into the corridor waiting for the class to start. I watched the end of another class with butterflies in my stomach. They all looked like they were having so much fun and clapping each other and laughing and I knew that regardless of what happened next I’d been making a positive step towards growth and change. It was easier than I thought to learn the steps. The teacher broke the routine down into lots of parts so I got the hang of it (sort of) every time I screwed up I laughed it off and kept going. When it was near the end the teacher actually filmed us! This is when I completely forgot what the hell I was doing and messed up every single stage of that dance. Again I laughed it off and clapped at the end with everyone else.

So, what have I learnt? I’ve learnt being in a social situation by yourself is not that bad and people won’t actually laugh at you or bite your head off. That going and having fun for yourself, and just enjoying being part of a group who are all there to express themselves and have fun, is really awesome. And most of all I know it’s all in our head. The terrifying idea that people are secretly judging you and you are going to completely embarrass yourself is an illusion. I can pretty much guarantee that majority of people there didn’t pay me any attention at all and if I spoke to them and told them what I was doing and why, they would have been reassuring and told me to enjoy myself.

I think the thing is, is that we can so caught up thinking that life is really serious and a small mistakes will damn our futures. Life is short and mysterious and weird and amazing and wonderful. So lets all be silly. Lets be inspired by each other. Lets live our best lives doing all the things that make us giggle and have butterflies in our stomachs. Lets really live!

If you’d like to read the full page about Project 12, click this link Project 12

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