Take a beat.

In our fast-moving and busy culture we are often told to just snap out of it and put on a front to get through work, family dinners, meetings and even life in general. But is denying our feelings and putting them aside really the best thing to do? As human beings we are extremely complex. I think this is our worst and our best quality. Surely denying the way we feel is to deny being human altogether?

This is what it’s all about.  This project began with me thinking about how to get people to own themselves, what they feel, how they think. . . . Not just my name is blah and I do this, that and the other. It’s about who YOU are as an individual, as a human being participating in society,  about your values, the standard at which you hold yourself to, what your hopes and dreams are. . . .There are always going to be hard seasons when you are feeling down and you feel like you don’t have a lot going for you, or you do, and you are feeling the pressure of it. When these hard seasons arrive it’s so easy to get caught up in feeling down and in a rut.

There are so many occasions where something will happen and I will fold in on myself and I can feel the weight of life right there on my shoulders. Sometimes I wish that just by me holding my breath I can stop time itself and try to scrabble together some sense of what’s going on, before another unwelcome thought pops into my head, or my alarm goes off, or I need to be somewhere. You know the times when you are just like, give. Me. a minute! Something will happen and I press the self-destruct button. I get very introverted and quiet. Every aspect of my life will be over analysed and taken apart like a piece of Ikea furniture. Even if the thing that has happened is relatively small, if I’m tired or stressed then EVERYTHING gets deconstructed. I used to let myself get so wound up I’d have an anxiety attack, I’d be a f**king mess for days. Now,  I need a day at the most.  It has taken years and years of constant mental practise to get here. BUT, after spending a lot of time getting to know me I now know what I NEED, I remember that I can’t have it together all the time.  So I stop. Stop working, stop thinking, stop talking. And I just take a minute to hear myself breathe. To focus on where I am. How I got to this point. I stop to open my chest and let all the feelings be felt. Spill everything out, like spreading all the pieces of a game out onto a table top. You can clearly see what is there and get an idea of how to begin. My therapist once said, after me asking why I felt a certain way, “maybe there isn’t an answer”. . . .well maybe there isn’t a specific answer. But there will always be a solution. We will never have a perfectly balanced playing field, but you know you best and so you are the only one who can take the next step. By doing this we are being honest to ourselves about who we are as an individual and what WE need, rather than doing what we are SUPPOSED to do. . . suck it up, keep smiling, forget about it. . . .Just sit there and feel the way you feel. Take a big breath and just be.

It’s good to talk to others but try not to depend on their solutions as people only ever work from their bottom line and therefore can only give you advice from their method of coping. Spend time with you, get to know who you really are and own yourself. Our lives are so short and ever so precious. Take care of yourself, and next time things get a little too much and you get yourself into the negative head space, remember you are only human. Then close your eyes and, take. A. Beat. 

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Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s impossible. You can do it. 

One thought on “Take a beat.

  1. I really love this post! Gives you a lot to think about and makes you realise it’s ok to feel depressed and down for a bit! It’s only human! As long as you give yourself time then take the steps needed to get out of it, but it all comes from you! Thankyou!

    Like

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