8 years and 6 attempts.

Have you noticed that quite a few accomplished people have this sense of arrogance about them? To an outsider they seem cocky and have an, ‘I am better than you’, vibe about them.
I’ve just received my results for my math exam I took in January, I finally got the C grade that I wanted. I did it! I took the exam back in school, eight years ago, and I got a D grade, so I re-took the exam and got another D. I did the same when I went to sixth form, the year after. Got two D’s again. Then I went into jobs that I didn’t need my GCSE’s for and so I left it.
When I left my first nannying job, I realised that part of the reason I wasn’t enjoying my job was because it wasn’t mentally challenging for me, so my crazy brain kicked in and said ‘what can I do to self improve?’. And so, last June I took my math GCSE again after six years. I optimistically gave myself 12 weeks to re-learn maths. I bought the books, I printed the past papers, I studied, then took the exam in June.
Results came out in August. I got a D again. . . . .that made five!
I really did expect to do worse, so a D was good considering. However, a C is the pass grade I wanted. So, guess what I did? I re-applied and started all over again. And here I am today with a C next to Math on my CV.

I pushed myself so hard, I studied whilst doing a 60 hr work week. I studied for nobody but me. A few people questioned me about why I was taking it or re-taking when I didn’t need my Math GCSE. ’Maybe I should settle with the grade I got’. ‘Maybe just except that, that’s all I can do’. . . Ummm NO!
I knew I could do it, I knew I was better, I believed in myself, I believed in something that didn’t exist yet. And now I know. I know why those high achievers, the people we think are ‘lucky’ because of their amazing life, are so arrogant. Because they work their forking butts off. They go the extra mile, they see things others don’t and above all, they believe in themselves to such a high standard that they don’t except anything less from themselves. They are damn proud of the hard work they have put in and so they should be!
So if you’re one of those people who look at others and think, “They are so lucky” or “Omg they are so arrogant”, just because they are accomplished, like I have many a time. Remember, we all start off the same, we all have the same hours in the day, we all have opportunities, if we are open to them. . . .expect a higher standard of yourself and remember, all you need is a little self-belief and you really can do anything your heart desires.

If you know you can do better. . .then do better.

One thought on “8 years and 6 attempts.

  1. This is breathtakingly wonderful. I am such a fan! Can’t wait for the next post you are so eloquent.
    Ps. I knew you’d do it by the way. Self belief is extraordinarily powerful- as is hard work! 😘😘😘


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